Healing From the Roots: Discover the Healing Power of Family History
Exploring your family's genealogy can be more than a journey into the past – it can also be a powerful
tool for healing and reveals how tracing your roots can contribute to personal and familial well-being.
Family dynamics are not always ideal, and unfortunately for some they entail pain and even trauma
however there's growing evidence that links understanding your family background, including the stories passed down through generations, and your resilience and well-being, particularly during adolescence. A notable study (1) conducted by Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush at Emory University highlights this correlation. Additionally, other research underscores the therapeutic benefits of journaling or documenting your experiences which happens to be an important part of doing family history work. It isn't just about our ancestors, it's about us. Who we are and the legacy we are leaving.
As I have been studying how family history research contributes to healing and a richer sense of self, these are the five elements that stood out to me:
Reclaiming Narratives: Genealogical research provides an opportunity to learn about the life of your family members and the experiences that have shaped their character allowing you to reclaim family narratives. By understanding the challenges and triumphs of your ancestors, you gain insight into the origins of certain family patterns and have the opportunity to improve.
Breaking Cycles of Silence: Many families over time have developed a culture of silence. Genealogical exploration encourages open conversations, breaking down barriers, and fostering understanding among family members.
Identifying Resilience: Through research, you may uncover stories of resilience and strength within your family. Recognizing these qualities can inspire a sense of empowerment and resilience in dealing with present challenges.
Connecting with Ancestral Roots: Exploring ancestral roots fosters a sense of connection and continuity. Understanding where your family comes from can provide a stable foundation for your identity. (Think Moana and her reaction to when she learned her ancestors were voyagers.)
Cultural Understanding: Often, conflicts and traumas can be heightened or have origins in cultural or historical contexts. Genealogy helps illuminate these contexts and by comprehending these we can lay the groundwork for a culture of understanding and empathy within the family.
Engaging in family history work has been transformative for me. I have frequently recognized these five
elements and have experienced healing firsthand which has caused me to developed a deeper sense of understanding and compassion. Through this journey, I've recognized generational patterns within my family and celebrated moments when they've been disrupted by myself and others. Wrestling with these cycles has been challenging, as I've come to acknowledge my own participation in perpetuating them. Yet, I've found grace in accepting that I can't break them all simultaneously and have entrusted the next generation to carry on the work of healing and transformation. But the key to being able to do this is knowing our family history, the people and their stories.
The activity that has been most beneficial for me is creating simple life sketches for the individuals in my family tree. These sketches aren't intricate or elaborate; rather, they serve as a tool to identify any gaps in my knowledge about their lives. Through this process, I gain a visual overview of their experiences. As I continue sketching more ancestors, intriguing patterns begin to emerge. I start to recognize similarities between them and other family members, as well as aspects of myself mirrored in their stories. This process feels like piecing together a puzzle, except the pieces are fragments of my own identity. Each new revelation helps me gain clarity and uncover hidden or missing parts of myself. It's a journey of discovery where every insight brings me closer to understanding my own story.
Another endeavor I've undertaken is compiling my own life history, and there's undoubtedly a therapeutic aspect to revisiting life events and putting them down on paper. We often underestimate ourselves, failing to acknowledge the accomplishments we achieve and the battles we conquer. Life's challenges spare no one; grief, hardship, and seemingly insurmountable obstacles touch us all. It's easy to dismiss our own stories as insignificant because they lack monumental discoveries or vast wealth, but this perspective is flawed. It's the ordinary moments and everyday experiences that truly shape our lives. When I reflect on what I most yearn to know about the loved ones I've lost, it's the stories of their daily existence that resonate the most. What were their early jobs like? How did they navigate the world of dating during their time? Who brought laughter into their lives? I'm certain that someday, my descendants will seek to understand what it was like to be me, and I want them to truly know who I was.
Taking all of that into consideration and then add in the empirical evidence that "knowing one's family history in adolescence is linked to internal locus of control, higher self-esteem, improved family functioning, stronger family bonds, reduced anxiety, and fewer behavior problems"(2), it strongly advocates for integrating family history into our home environment. The "Do You Know Scale Questions," developed by Dr. Marshall Duke and Dr. Robyn Fivush at Emory University, offer a great tool to gauge each family member's knowledge of their family's story. The more "yes" answers a child gives, the more likely they are to have a sense of worth and well-being. However, these questions are just the beginning of what children should learn about their family. We need to keep the conversations going, sharing our stories and helping them connect deeply with us. We shouldn't wait until we're older, like myself at 50, to truly get to know our parents; by then, it might be too late.
To aid you in this endeavor, we're offering a complimentary digital download of the Do You Know Scale questions, accompanied by suggestions to transform them into enjoyable and interactive activities. This serves as an excellent starting point for your journey. These questions naturally prompt further inquiry, leading to a wealth of stories waiting to be shared. As these narratives emerge, consider documenting them. Capture the essence of each tale by compiling photographs, artifacts, and cherished heirlooms linked to these stories. Explore creative ways to bring these anecdotes to life.
Newspapers can be invaluable resources in uncovering the events that shaped individuals' lives. They functioned as the social media of their time, meticulously chronicling even the most trivial details, from bridal and baby showers to birthday parties, wedding announcements, and local incidents. Even announcing to everyone that you are leaving town for two months! Incorporating these historical records adds depth and vibrancy to your family narratives.
Before long, you'll notice a profound transformation in your life as these stories foster deeper connections and a sense of belonging within your family.
Below are links to the products we love and use for writing our own history, recording oral histories for family members and starting conversations that promote productive discussions and storytelling.
*Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Don't worry, it doesn't cost you any more if you purchase through my link.
Autobiography Journal with prompts
(commissions earned)
Pregnancy through 18 years old journal with prompts
(commissions earned)
"Talking Point" Dinner table/family time conversation cards
(commissions earned)
"Tales" card deck for life story conversations
(commissions earned)
Digital recording device
(commissions earned)
Two pack lavalier clip on microphone for iPhone
(commissions earned)
Two pack lavalier clip on microphone USB-Type C
(commissions earned)
Sources:
BOHANEK, J.G., MARIN, K.A., FIVUSH, R. and DUKE, M.P. (2006), Family Narrative Interaction and Children's Sense of Self. Family Process, 45: 39-54. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2006.00079.x
Duke, Marshall P., Amber Lazarus, and Robyn Fivush. "Knowledge of family history as a clinically useful index of psychological well-being and prognosis: A brief report." Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training 45, no. 2 (2008): 268.
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